Hello to anyone reading this 🤷🏻♀️
I started this blog in January 2019 hoping to document my year, and recovery from a significantly bad spate of poor mental health. I thought 2019 was going to be my year, that I would re-find myself, and rediscover my passion for writing and love of life. Things didn’t quite go to plan.
The beginning of the year started off as any other, the business of work kept me occupied from February through to March, as it usually does following the Christmas break. I was feeling okay in myself, but my mental health was still poor and I was operating as a hermit once again, only leaving the house for work, and my promised-to-my-mum quick walk around the local shops every Saturday.
April came and things took a turn for the worse. My mental health limiting my outings brought arguments with my then-boyfriend, which turned to more significant issues with our relationship. This itself only made my mental health worse, and deep down I knew things weren’t going to last. Still, I soldiered on, praying that his attitude and thoughts would change, and my confidence grow.
The beginning of May we broke up, and with that went my custody of our cat, Bee. I was devastated, but the threat of “I won’t survive without him” rattled me, and I gave him up to my ex for good.
The days that followed were hard. A combination of my closest colleague leaving, my two best friends breaking up and fighting, and the end of my CBT shook me to the core. I was low, desperate and nearly at the point of relapse, but my friends rallied and didn’t let it happen.
The weeks that followed I became stronger. I felt more alive than I have in years. One of my closest friends from the States visited me and I toured him around the city with newfound confidence. I was my own person again. Anxiety still haunted me, but I pushed past it and tried my best not to let it control me.
Now we are in September, I am hopeful to begin writing again with a fresh new start (having deleted all my previous posts).
Maybe I will finally document my recovery as I planned at the beginning of the year. Who knows.
P.S. I got my own kitten at the beginning of July, his name is Casper and he is beautiful.